Online dating turning fantasy into reality
Maybe it wasn’t progressing (see my post on landmarks of healthy relationships), or there was code amber and red behaviour but whatever it was, you’re not together.
However, you keep remembering the ‘good times’ and the fact that you both like running in the mountains, eating jellied eels, sleeping in the bed at a 17 degree angle, and you have amazing sex.
If they restricted their thoughts to reality in full colour, vision, they wouldn’t going back.
If you only remember the hot sex it’s like assuming that in reality they’re one walking, talking penis or vagina.
I’ll be 42 in a couple of weeks, and in two years of online dating, I’d say about 70% of the people who write to me are fifty and over, often MUCH over.
I think the record so far is the 74-year-old who said he could have his daughter pick him up at the nursing home and bring him into the city if I were willing to meet for coffee. Your last line is telling, though, and hints at the broader trend. Unfortunately, it seems that all the men my age only want much younger women, which leaves me with the 20-somethings who think “MILF” is an appropriate subject line and write messages about being “into older women,” and the aforementioned geriatric (or borderline) set. If everyone is looking downstream, age-wise (except the few who have a “kink” for older types), where does that leave those of us who really are looking for a peer? Should I adjust my objectives to what the market has to offer?
You’re having such a good time, you don’t want to pay much attention to some things that are making you uncomfortable or even worried.
Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way. How does a 56 year old man find a good younger woman that would be interested in marriage and willing to have children by him? Most good sites line me up with the 50 year olds and most 36 year olds tend to think I’m a dirty old man.I know that such a person exists but can’t find a good avenue to find her. Thank you, Dale, for acknowledging a few very common truths from the world of online dating.Truth is that the hot sex may be packaged up in someone that doesn’t treat you with love, care, trust, and respect, that leaves you feeling worthless once the sexual high has passed.The key is to work out what reality is and that includes the good, bad, and indifferent.